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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heart Break

I said I wouldn't do personal posts but I had to share something. I needed to express some emotions. Yes, being pregnant brings out more....

My oldest daughter experienced heart break for the first time. No, it wasn't a boy, thank you Lord! It was the heartbreak of not making a team at school. We thought for sure she would make it. Lots of preparation and excitement, all ending in let down today.

When she came out to the car today she was holding strong then broke down in the car. My heart absolutely broke for her. You see I never wanted my kids to experience this type of let down and hurt. I put them in extra lessons and go overboard to prevent them from hurt. Sometimes it doesn't work, and as a parent it rips my heart out. It took all of me to not call the school and talk to the teacher. But, I am NOT going to be one of those parents... although it's very tempting. I also found myself getting mad about the other girls who made it. In my mind not nearly as talented as my daughter, yes I know I am biased.

We've had some discussions today and I've shared times growing up when I didn't make a team or was let down. We took her to get a hair cut, nails done then to indulge on some cheese fries. I just wanted to make it better and take away her pain.

As a mom of 4 kids heart break and pain is unavoidable. This will not be the last time one of the kids doesn't make a team. They can't always be the best at every activity. I've just got to put my mom jeans on (the cute ones) and love them and tell them how wonderful and loved they are.

Fellow moms of teenagers or adults, any words of wisdom for this rookie?

9 comments:

Tabi said...

Poor girl! That is just awful but look at her holding on to her strength unil Mom was in sight! I hope she feels better about everything soon. You too mom!

Jenny said...

No words or advise ( especially since i never plan on owning a teenager..they can stay little forever right) but just wanted to send lots of love to you and K:) Just keep reminding her God already has her life all mapped out and this just didn't fit in but in a few weeks/months/years she'll look back and realize it really wasn't that big a deal but most importantly that she handled it with grace. And seriously that is the true accomplishment.

Murry Mayhem said...

Awww...poor mommy! I think sometimes its harder on the mommies than on our kids. We are biased, and its so hard to see them hurt and not getting what they worked so hard for. I know Kate will thrive, and that there is a better opportunity for her in store.

I can't help but giggle that you took her for a little pampering and a yummy treat...I do the same thing with Caroline! I hate to see how much I'll indulge her when she is a teenager!

To be honest, I had a little cry for you two just now. Maybe because I understand that bond, or maybe because I know how sweet you are and I know how much we want to see our kids thrive in all they do, but regardless of why, it makes me sad for y'all that the time has come for her to start growing up and face the reality of it all. Goodness, I didn't mean to type a book!

Hugs to you and sweet Kate!

Nicole said...

I am so sorry to you and Kate. My only advice would be to just remind her that God is in control, and He was obviously protecting her from something by being on that team and that He needs/wants her available to do what He really has in store for her ... that is immeasurably more than we could hope or imagine.

You'll make it through this. And, don't we wish this was the only heartbreak our girls had to endure.

Hang in there mom!

Mom of Three said...

That's one major thing I am not looking forward to handeling while raising my girls! Sounds like you handled the situation great!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel, even though it does not feel like it right now you have done the right thing no being one of "those" parents ,what you have done is helped your daughter through a valuable although hard life lesson ands he will be stronger in life for it ,imagine finishing school and making every team ,never getting your feelings hurt ,neverbeing told no ,the results would be a very shallow individual .welldon you and your lovley daughter. Sharon

Katie said...

While it sucks at the time... some of the best learning experiences for me as a teen were the hard ones. My mom was always supportive and loving, but knew that these things happen and you have to let them happen. You're job as the mom is to tell her its ok, and to help make it feel better (nice job with a hair cut, nailes, and fries.. i usually just hot ice cream!)
While its no fun.. she will move on, and will try again next time and it will mean that much more to her then.

Dawn said...

Oh Jen! I am so sorry to hear that. Having a 12-year old I know how that feels. I hope she bounces back soon! Also, if you feel there was an injustice done as far as the judging be one of "those" parents. It will do her good to know her mom will go to bat for her! Prays to you both.

Aimee said...

Oh, my heart breaks for her too. The teen years are the toughest I think...although I'm just getting there!